The last month or so has been one of the most tumultuous and liberating periods in my life.
Let me give some context: Back in January, I went on a hike that injured my knee, and it never really felt the same afterward. I convinced myself that with rest, the pain would eventually go away. It kind of did—sort of. But whenever I would climb stairs, that nagging pain would return. I was in denial, believing each time that the pain would magically disappear. Then in July, during another hike, the pain in my knee became unbearable, and I had to take a dirt bike just to get back.
Finally, I sought professional advice and was diagnosed with muscle imbalance and tendonitis.
I started acupuncture, which helped significantly with the pain. During my sessions with Darlene, my acupuncturist, she sensed that the pain in my knee was symbolic. She asked if I was going somewhere, and I told her that I would be leaving the country soon. She suggested that the pain I was experiencing was a manifestation of the lack of closure I hadn’t given myself from certain people or experiences. It was as if I couldn’t make a peaceful transition without working through it first. She was right. Just like the pain that surfaced when triggered by climbing stairs, the pain from a specific period in my life was something I had been repressing, believing I had "moved on." My mind had done its best to forget the trauma, but my body wouldn’t let me off the hook. My body was communicating the truth about myself.
I then decided to address this again through hypnotherapy with Ria. During my session, I told Ria about my indignance towards the people who traumatized me five years ago. I expressed my deep desire to witness karmic justice and my bitterness that they had gained at my expense. I was also bitter that my so-called friends were complicit in the extreme trauma that drove me into my descent.
Compassionately, she told me that the experience I had with them was exactly what I needed for my evolution. She explained that there was a much higher purpose in all of this and that those people were just instruments for my growth. She pointed out that I have important work to do through my work of helping others heal. I was slowing myself from this work because of the people who are not even on my level. Were those friends who abandoned me really good friends? That moment in time revealed people’s true character, yet I held on to the belief that they would come around. But this was not the case, even after confronting them back in 2023, when they responded by gaslighting me instead. They served a purpose in the past, but now is a different time, and people have a choice whether they want to do right or wrong by me. I found myself getting frustrated as I heard all this.
"I want to be like Jesus. He was just a human. How was he so chill even after Judas betrayed him? I don’t understand his sacrifice…" I cried.
"Yes, this was his ultimate sacrifice of...?" Ria responded, gently prompting me.
"…" I was speechless.
"-of unconditional love. He was a living example of what it means to maintain the frequency of love even in the face of betrayal and death. This is why his story is powerful. Because he acted from unconditional love, removed judgment, and knew that his sacrifice would create a ripple effect that would inspire us all."
I let her words sink in, feeling both humbled and enlightened. The idea of living without judgment, of choosing love even when faced with the darkest moments, seemed almost impossible—and yet, it was what made Jesus' story so enduring. His ability to transcend human pain, anger, and betrayal and to act from a place of pure, unconditional love was something I could aspire to. It awakened me to the true essence of Christ Consciousness, and I felt a sense of peace wash over me.
Shortly after, I started physical therapy and began going to the gym consistently to strengthen my muscles. Going to the gym is a lifestyle because it doesn’t end with just exercising; you also need to eat more and rest more, which are new habits for me.
At the same time, I have been working through documents for my big transition happening towards the last quarter of this year. My visa application was a huge stressor in my life because I had been working on it DIY-style for a year, and every step was confusing. And, of course, in the middle of Mercury Retrograde, anything that could go wrong, did go wrong! Delays, added expenses, software issues, and miscommunications. Suddenly, after what felt like forever in finding an interview date, I got lucky and booked it within two weeks: September 3. The pressure to pass my application was so heavy it became my obsession. I was also constantly physically exhausted from the exercises because I was only in my first month of training. I stopped accepting client readings and didn’t talk to anyone other than my partner and gym coach for weeks just to preserve energy for this one singular moment. I was really touched when my friends reached out to me before the interview, after I had disappeared for a while, and this was another sign that I had made significant progress in my healing. In the days leading up to my interview, I finally, for the first time in a long time, “came out” of hiding to spend time with my sisters and friends, just to ground myself for the big day.
If you’re reading this now and wondering why I was gone these last few weeks, it’s because of all this.
But anyway, let's fast forward…
I am happy to report that I passed my application! All is well! I just want to soak in all this positivity because this journey was not simple. August was deeply transformative—mentally, physically, and spiritually—and I’m just so glad I survived it all.
Now that I’m looking back and have written all this, I’m even more surprised at my courage to confront my pain, limitations, and responsibilities all at once. I think this is why honesty is one of my core values in this life. I truly believe there is no healing in maintaining a lie or staying in denial. Even when I’m unaware of my own denial, the Universe finds a way to remind me of the truth—whether that’s physically, through my family in spirit, or through a personal awakening.
Well, Im listening, Universe, even if the truth hurts haha!
For now, I just want to take the rest of this week to recalibrate, but I’ll be coming back to do readings and healing sessions again very soon! Thank you for reading this, and please let me know your thoughts.
Sending you much love!
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